Looking for the light at the end of the tunnel

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I was doing pretty well before this last surgery. I had gotten to a point that I could eat a variety of things, but still not enough to get rid of the feeding tube. It no longer hurt to swallow water and I could eat things like applesauce, Lipton chicken noodle soup, watermelon, and ice cream without a lot of pain. More substantial foods like pasta still hurt quite a bit, as did the fruit smoothies. I even ate half a French fry the night before my surgery.

When I woke up from surgery last Friday I was in a lot of pain. They wouldn’t give me anything for it or let me go home until I ate two packages of graham crackers (I was allowed to dip them in water to soften them). I slipped one cracker to John while nobody was looking, but I did eat the rest of them.

The first night, I had a lot of swelling and could barely even get down water. Since then, I’ve managed to do some Lipton soup, some ice cream, and a few sips of a smoothie. I tried watermelon, but that didn’t go well. I’m sure it will get better over time.

I’m hoping to only have one surgery left (May 18) so I can start to eat more and get rid of the feeding tube, but the ENT won’t say until she sees where we’re at next time around. As of Friday, she had my esophagus completely open, but she suspects it will close up some between now and the next procedure.

Last Tuesday, I saw my local ENT to have my hearing tested. He said I have mild hearing loss with lower tones (which is where speech falls in) and moderate to severe hearing loss with higher tones. He doesn’t recommend a hearing aid for now because I would probably end up not using it, so it would be a waste of money. The hearing loss is likely permanent. I’m supposed to go back and have my hearing checked again next year.

My hands and feet are constantly numb and when I wake up in the morning, I can’t feel my toes and all of my fingers hurt. It gets somewhat better as I go on with my day. At least for now the neuropathy doesn’t seem to be getting any worse. I’m hoping it will improve over time, but it could take several months.